Teeth 4 Teeth

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE

Wande Coal ‘Watches’ Yaw On Radio
CAN someone please tell Wazobia FM to either take off hip-hop act Wande Coal’s promo on presenter Yaw or edit it? Wande at the end of the skit advised everybody to keep ‘watching’ Yaw (watching on radio o?) every morning. Nice work Wande Coal, but since when did people start watching programme on radio? You need to be flogged, anyway, the hip-hop act has a history of goofs. Wande, at one time, wanted to shower praises on Guinness Nigeria Plc. for their good works on the entertainment industry at an event, but ended up thanking Nigerian Breweries; it took the compere some efforts to whisper to him before he came back to his senses.
Verdict: Wande Coal needs to be frog-jumped for him to be wise.

Ateke Tom: The Leo Mezie connection
YOU will be wondering why I have been on Nollywood star, Leo Mezie’s case for quite some time now, especially since he got married. Well, if you are indeed concerned, then tell Leo to stay at home because as long as he or other celebrities come out, they will be spotted by eagle eye T4T. Last week Friday night, Leo was restless, making calls after calls. Then at about 9.30pm, he raced down the staircase and shortly appeared with some stern looking characters, all looking like actors out of a Marlon Brandon Godfather movie. The bowel of the celebrity hangout stood still as ex-militant and Niger Delta warrior Ateke Tom walked in with his large entourage. The aura of power will make even Goodluck Jonathan go green with envy. In fact, I won’t go into the details of things that followed. So, ex-militants can groove that much? Well, you won’t blame Tom, after years of being in the creeks and fighting; amnesty has made all free and so, it’s time to show the stuff one is made of.
As for Leo, hmmm, I trust he can take care of himself bcos dis new friend wey Leo get so na big frend o o.

... And talkative was in the groove
COMEDIAN Talkative was one of the people that made the Ateke Tom’s groove thick; a knife would have issues cutting through. He was all smiles as expensive drinks and rich food found their way to the reserved table for the former warlord. Who no go smile for dat kain situation?

Talkative and Goodluck Jonathan
ACTING President Goodluck Jonathan is perhaps not the only person that will share from his good luck. Comedian Talkative, reports say, have relocated from whereever he had been hibernating to the seat of power, Abuja, since Jonathan assumed office as ‘Acting President’. It’s no news that Talkative and Jonathan have been enjoying a father/son relationship since the latter’s days as Governor of Bayelsa State. The rumour mill revealed that as soon as Jonathan was announced ‘Acting President’, Talkative was on the plane the next minute to Abuja, of course, with several proposals. One of his oncoming films on Niger Delta first known freedom fighter, Adaka Boro, was top on his brief case. When T4T accosted him last Friday, he denied the report. But there is a noticeable change in his body features since Jonathan became the nation’s top man. Talkative was lean some months ago, but now, he looks as fresh as eja aro (point and kill fish). Advice: Talkie, make hay while the sun shines because your Godfather has just some months on that seat, that is if Yar’Adua and Turai do not pull another stunt like they did with the return from Saudi Arabia. No be me talk o, na amebo people dem o.

E-Money, KC Presh and The Sengemenge Family
I FEEL happy writing this report on the hottest and youngest millionaires in town. Who are they? You have not been moving around if you are still asking this question. Hip hop stars KC Presh and the elder brother of the K in KC, Emeka alias E-Money are the people making Lagos tick at the moment. They are called the Sengemenge Family (just like in the Mafia, where you have the Gambino, Corleon etc families). They move about in a large convoy of Hummer jeeps with revolving lights. If they happen on your club any day, you can go to sleep for the next three days because you definitely will run out of drinks and foods since they invade often with about 30 people excluding mogbo moyas (gate crashers) at the place. While Ateke Tom was holding the celebrity hangout in Surulere to ransom that Friday, the Sengemenge family was some metres away, just by the stage, showing the stuff they are made of. At intervals, E-Money would cause rain to fall on the in-house band, a wad of N1000 bills. It got to a point, the leader of the band was so confused, he almost fainted. Ateke Tom on his part will reply with two wads of the same denomination. It was a ‘contest’ of no winner. T4T’s wife was forced to ask, at a point, if those bills were real money. My dear, they are real money, being spent by real people. My initial excitement evaporated as we drove home in my rickety Tuke Tuke car. Show me the man that won’t feel slightly worried when he just witnessed young people spraying N1000 notes. But, I was consoled that Jesus is still lord and we shall make it in His name… Amen.

D’ Lecturer at it again
SINCE comic act D’ Lecturer bought his car that many say is not better than T4T’s Tuke Tuke, he has since stopped coming to celebrity hangouts to search for who to drop him at the next BRT bus station for onward transmission to Akute, a suburb of Lagos, where reports say he is planning to buy his country home (he currently lives in a flat at a ridiculous low rent a bad belly says can only pay for a single room’s rent in Surulere).
Saw the petit comedian when he came to town (as if na anoda state im dey stay). He was all smiles, spotting a designer shirt with his name inscribed on the breast pocket, the comic declined all entreaties by his friends to buy some shacks. He rather began a systematic thumbing of cigarettes from people’s packs on the table. You can take the man from the ghetto; you cannot take the ghetto from the man.
Na talk I talk o.
ogbuus@yahoo.com