TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE
Enter Presido Segun Arinze... Hmmm
NOLLYWOOD star, Segun Arinze, is the new president of the Actors Guild of Nigeria, AGN. After a protracted tussle between former president Ejike Asiegbu and the Board of Trustees-appointed president, Kanayo O. Kanayo, the Asiegbu blind-sided everybody when contrary to claims that he did not want to hold an election, did one and Arinze beat another Nollywood star, Charles Anwurum, to the coveted seat. Uncle Sege was all over the place at O’jez last week, moving from table to table and thanking those who voted for him. There was, however, one noticeable thing about the actor. His stomach size has increased since he won the election in Port Harcourt two weeks ago. His detractors were very busy that evening. They claimed he has started ‘eating’ money, that may have accounted for his pregnant state. Trust T4T, he accosted Sege with the allegation. He debunked the claim, revealing that he just ate his favourite meal of pounded yam before he left home. This is keeping the records straight. But we have taken note of the stomach.
To God be the glory!

Save Us From Noise Pollution, Solid AC
WHEN next you hear that comedian Solid AC has been arrested by Governor Fashola’s environmental officers, do not be surprised. At the rate he is going, he will soon be declared an environmental nuisance and bundled away to Alausa, Government office. T4T was doing a little shopping around Masha Roundabout, Surulere, Lagos last week when people started scampering about. The little chaos was caused by an oncoming sound, a loud eerie sound!!! Seconds later, one discovered the noise was caused by a power bike; and perched on top the bike was no other person than comedian Solid AC. His unmistakable oblong head flashed past as everybody cursed. He may have blown the exhaust of his bike or he deliberately left it like that to attract undue attention. Anyway, minutes later, T4T saw him at a hangout in Surulere and informed him of the impending arrest. Well, as you read this piece, Fashola’s men may be plotting seriously on how to arrest AC and impound his noisy bike. You will be duly informed.

P Square’s No Non-Sense People
HIP-HOP acts, P Square, took activism to another level last week when they played at a big concert in Lagos. They were fighting for the rights of fellow hip hopper, Tu Face, who reports said came late and wanted to perform despite being told he could not do that because of the main act who happens to be a foreigner. P Square, the group of twin brothers, reportedly threw the microphone into the crowd to protest why their ‘brother’ artiste should not be allowed to perform. Good boys, good brother’s keepers and the latest Gani in town. These boys have forgotten easily what activism did to Eedris Abdukareem, the once upon a time ‘biggest rap act’ in Nigeria. Eedris fought for his ‘right’ when American rapper, 50 Cent, was given a first class seat in Nigeria when he came for a show. Since then,Eedris has become history, as nobody wants him for a show. P Square, next time you want to prove that you are capable of taking over from the late Gani, investigate the matter properly and always remember the warning Thunder Balogun’s wife reportedly gave her husband according to the legend... “Remember your left”.

Is Ali Baba A Metro Police?
ACE comedian, Ali Baba, appeared at O’jez last week dressed in a designer suit. Nice suit, blue but that crest on the breast pocket reminds of the insignia of UK Metropolitan police. Bros, I like your suit, when I grow up, I will like to be a Metro police like you. God is able.

Monalisa Chinda Vs Hubby
THE lesson to learn from the ongoing matrimonial brouhaha of Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda, and husband is to always tell the truth no matter the circumstances. Before the actress came out to tell the world she was tired of the rocky marriage, they had, at every given opportunity, told the world how their marriage was ‘made in heaven’. But we now know better as accusations are beginning to fly. Anyway, if there is a resolution finally, please Mona baby, do not lie about any situation again for the good book said, “in any situation, let us thank the Lord.”

Rejoinder: Mr. Patrick Has Not Left Comedy
T4T last week reported that Mr. Patrick, a budding comedian was seen at a celebrity hangout with a digital camera taking photos of other stars. The report suggested that Patrick may have abandoned comedy for photography, but in a swift reaction, the comic debunked the allegation. Comedy is still in him and he lives off comedy, he told T4T last Friday. He, however, admitted toying with a camera but it was not for commercial purposes. Mr. Patrick, the rejoinder is noted, but the issue is, you were seen with camera and taking pictures, abi?
ogbuus@yahoo.com