THIS column is Strictly for the Young, and sometimes, I feel I am too old for it! In fact, these days, I feel like I am too old for a lot of things. Like playing a good old April Fool’s day prank! Don’t get me wrong, I have never actually played an April Fool’s prank, especially as I play pranks in everyday life, any way! But I have derived joy from thinking of all the pranks I could play! I would lie in bed and think up grandiose schemes and take pleasure in them, even if I never carried them out. But this year? Nada. Didn’t even bother lying in bed. (Okay fine, I did lie in bed).
But I am growing old!
How do I know?
Well, all my friends are growing old! Birthdays are no longer 18 or 21, but between 25 and 32.
I wrinkle my nose at girls wearing mini skirts at the galleria, and have actually said, ‘In My Day’. Nooooooooooooo! When did I become the voice of the generation before me?
While I do not mind revealing my age, I still hate when people ask, and now, when I fill forms, I have sadly moved to the ‘Above 25’ box. Oh, the pain! And I swear, sometimes, I feel and hear my bones creak, and make myself touch my toes, just to prove to myself that I can. I have a niece, and my grandmother is a great-grandmother!
BEVERY Hills 90210 is back again, and I miss the old zipcode; the people that I admired when I was growing up are now really old, while the ones that I had crushes on, have children, and are being admired by my younger friends on facebook! Speaking of which… I sometimes cringe when I see my younger cousins’ facebook pages. Kids of these days say funny things. (Did I just say, ‘kids of nowadays?’)
I no longer know when JAMB and other similar examinations are, and worse still, I can no longer connect with them even when I am reminded.
Thankfully, I still know what it is to study for examinations at University and Post-Graduate level, for which I am grateful.
But for how long, I wonder? People call me ‘aunty’, and these days, I am too tired or powerless to insist on their dropping the prefix, and using my name! I actually care about the stock market, and might soon have to think about rent. Thirty is no longer a joke bandied around with giggling school mates during prep, and marriage is no longer that thing my older cousins do, seeing as every other week, there is some invite; to a friend’s wedding!
Oh I am getting old!
I feel it every day, and now I realise that when you are young, you want to be old, and when you get old, you realise you should have stayed young. Innocent. Naïve. Carefree.
But you can’t get it back. There is no ‘return to innocence’ like Enigma sang. There is only now, and possibly tomorrow.
So, what do I do? Refuse to accept that I might soon have to dye a stray strand of grey hair, or rise up to the challenge?
What would you do?