Monday 6 April 2009

TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE
Frank Dallas Again
NOLLYWOOD actor Frank Dallas was all over T4T last week at O’jez, why? This is a puzzle we are presently trying to solve. He walked into the restaurant and saw T4T seated at his usual table, musing over some things (not for public consumption) and the ‘harassment’ began. “Shebi dis shirt good? Ehen, I no wear tie today, so, no be say you go begin go write say, my tie short or e too long o o.” He went on and on. Well, I know why Dallas was all fired up that night. Sometime ago, I saw his photograph in the papers as he received a Plasma television donated to the Actors Guild of Nigeria by a certain bank. Fine, you now know why Dallas was so excited that night, it is not every day one gets to see his photograph in the papers. And to think he just went to represent the president of the Actors Guild of Nigeria at the presentation ceremony is another thing o!

Felix Duke’s Bloated
HAVE you seen dancehall singer Felix Duke recently? Or don’t you know him? Let me refresh your memory. Duke got ‘tired’ of Nigeria and left for London some years ago. He soon got ‘tired’ of the UK and came back to release a fairly successful song, Joana. Since then, a detractor claimed a certain multinational company took it upon itself to ‘rehabilitate’ Duke by giving him shows across the country. Now, he is fully rehabilitated and you need to see him when he came to O’jez to hangout, with a friend (na friend I talk o o, whether na man or woman, me I know know reach dia). He is so fat, in fact, bloated is the right word. He now moves like a 10-ton truck. Bros, do something about your new improved sized bifor sometin do you. Na advice I give o o.

Mama G’s Too Much
HAVE you seen Nollywood star actress Patience Nzokwor recently? Well, I saw a familiar figure at the celebrity hangout; it was spotting a light green beret (I am colour blind, please), a tight fitted jean trousers... How did I take in all these details? I am trained to do so, you hear, before you start getting ideas. Anyway, back to the figure, that turned all eyes as she walked into O’jez accompanied by another female and a man (names withheld). T4T realised it was Mama G (as Nzokwor is popularly called). Mama G took some time off production in faraway Enugu to come to Lagos to unwind (na unwind I talk o o). She actually had a nice time. The loud laughter at regular intervals confirmed her state of mind. Carry go Maa ma.

Leo Does Not Keep To Time
NOLLYWOOD actor Leo, remember Leo? Yes, the guy who spent a fortune organising a birthday party for his girlfriend (girlfriend o o o) and later went to London to cool off. Yes, you know him now. Leo kept a popular celebrity journalist (names withheld) waiting for hours on end at O’jez last Tuesday. See as life be? Wen Leo do betday for woman spend heaven and earth, im no late come o o. Now, wetin go make im life beta, na so im late scatter. Anyway, he came and amid thick sweat, he profusely apologised.

ogbuus@yahoo,com

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