Tuesday, 12 May 2009

TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE
‘Embattled’ Paul Obazele
PRESIDENT of the Association of Movie Producers, Nollywood actor, Paul Obazele, was having a good time last Friday. At the food and drinks — laden table at O’jez that evening, Paulo, the embattled AMP helmsman was drinking and eating away like there was no tomorrow. This was the same Nollywood star some detractors claimed was almost physically impeached from office (the Nigerian government under Obasanjo’s style) some couple of weeks ago. Reports had it that Paulo had to hold on to the heavy desk as the angry (disgruntled) producers tried to drag him from office. But for the quick response of the police, maybe, our dear star would have been dragged out of office. Reminiscent of the hiding of the mace by the late Senate president, Chuba Okadigbo, Paulo the report claimed (I no dey dia o o), held on to the desk (which in this case represented the Okadigbo mace). Anyway, the battle I hear is still on and Paulo is now ready for future occurrence of the incidence. Back to last Friday. T4T walked up to Paulo and risked a punch when he asked what had become of the plot to oust him from office and if he was truly an embattled president. He looked at me and with his mouth munching away, asked: “Do I look embattled?” Indeed bros, that night you did not look or even feel embattled, but after sunshine comes rain or vice versa. You cannot spend the whole time brooding over a hovering scare, so it is good to unwind sometimes. Nice action Paulo, but hope your detractors who also come to O’jez will not choose the hang –out to impeach you as you unwind.

Presido Zeb Ejiro’s Truly The ‘Sheikh’
HAVE you had the opportunity of seeing one of Nollywood’s prolific directors and producer, Zeb Ejiro, who is widely known as either the ‘Sheikh’ or ‘Presido’, having a good time? You will rob a bank to witness it. That same evening T4T put his jaw on the line to confront Paul Obazele on his embattled state, Zeb Ejiro was sitting on the same table with him. Zeb, a national honour’s recipient of OON, was drinking an expensive bottle of red wine (a detractor claimed he was literally drowning in the wine), he was the centre of attraction. The way he even attacked and devoured the O’jez ‘baked’ fish with clinical precision, left T4T sitting some tables away, green with envy. While T4T was talking to Paulo, he also hailed the movie producer, who in his trademark deep, husky voice, hailed back (the guy is a bros, sha). A simple Math showed that what Bros Zeb Ejiro was devouring alone aside the ones by Nollywood stars Paulo and Zach Orji, was worth 10 grand (VAT inclusive). Recall the song two television actors, Idemudia and Kokori (of Hotel De Jordan fame), sang during the campaign of a former governor in the South South region? In case you don’t, Mr. Zeb Ejiro OON, I will refresh your memory. “I no chop today and forget tomorrow (repeat +2)... think of future, think of future, think of wetin you go leave for children...” A word is enough for the wise, becos dis one wey person dey chop 10 k for only one night so, ehen, pikin dem dey house o o.

Ejike ‘Arrested and Detained’ In Zimbabwe
SOME people will just go to any length to ‘finish’ somebody; if not, how will you reconcile this scenario. Two weeks ago, on a Wednesday night to be precise, T4T as usual was hanging out at O’jez (where else as im no get house o). Who else but with another embattled president, this time, of Actors Guild of Nigeria; Ejike Asiegbu. He just returned a night earlier from Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe and shackies were flowing like water. Then suddenly T4T’s two mobile phones beeped: an SMS and an email message. Haba, the peson plan am? Anyway, both messages were from the same source. As T4T read, he looked up in amazement: “Breaking news! Former President (never knew Ejike had been removed) of the Actors Guild of Nigeria, Ejike Asiegbu, has been arrested and detained in Zimbabwe for selling Nigerian movies without authorisation (so Ejike na movie marketer now?).” The message continued and ended with a convincing tone. “Call for more information. Thanks as you go to press with this exclusive information.”
I looked at Ejike again to convince myself I was not seeing somebody else. The sender of the message refused to pick up his call, I had wanted to thank him for the vital piece of news. Trust the AGN president, he went hysterical as expected. Well, true to the advice of the sender of the ‘exclusive’ news, I am now telling you about the ‘arrest’ and ‘detention’ of AGN president Ejike Asiegbu. Thank you for reading this ‘exclusive’ news.

Ayoola Sadare Was ‘Caught’ Red handed
HOW on earth did I forget this crucial piece of information? The only reason would be that future Benson Idonije (in jazz music matters sha), Ayoola Sadare, has done juju that temporary made me forget to tell you what transpired at the celebrity hangout about two weeks ago. Oh, you do not know Sadare too well? Too bad, but let me make it my duty to educate you. The public relations expert and jazz promoter, Sadare is the guy trying so hard (sponsors permit) to promote jazz in the country at present. He has organised jazz festivals and recall I told you he was sighted in the library of a very big newspaper with Pa Idonije, discussing jazz matters. I had finished my runs at O’jez that night and it was pretty late (too late for any family man to be out, and I am not saying Sadare is not a family man o o), and as T4T walked to his tuke tuke car, his side view caught somebody who had also sighted him, and was making a detour to avoid him. The familiar features of the man (dark, bushy hair, dark rimmed eyeglasses etc), registered. Few people have that feature. Then the nickel dropped, it was Sadare trying to avoid the eagle eye of T4T.
Anyway, it is only when somebody, a celebrity especially has ‘bad’ intentions that he avoids T4T. I am not saying Sadare had ‘bad’ intentions that night o o. T4T hailed him and reminded him that he had been ‘punked’. Advice. Do not try avoid T4T in future, because he is watching. (Dis T4T na SSS or FBI agent?)

Pray, Where Is Charly Boy?
PUBLIC notice! Please have you seen the self-acclaimed father of all touts in Nigeria, Area Fada, Charles Oputa aka Charly Boy? If found (I’m in a loss), please do let him know that there is fire on the mountain at PMAN. Two ‘presidents’, one they say enjoys his support and the other one that has fallen out of his favour, are fighting for the soul of the musicians’ body. Members of the dreaded OPC sect with charms and mobile policemen wielding loaded guns are freely being used, chaos is now the order at the national secretariat, Ikeja. As ‘President General’ of PMAN, some of your detractors are saying you should either as usual come or ‘install’ another president or leave the place empty. But since your ‘retirement’ from PMAN, you have chosen to busy yourself, with singing Ninja Bike, allowing your home to crumble and fall apart. Over to you C B, this is not about granting interviews and telling us (you have been telling us same thing in your interviews for years now, ‘Charly Boy philosophy’) how your parents kicked against your music career, joy of being a grandfather and how understanding Lady D is etc — this is the time to quench this fire your detractors claimed you started in Kaduna in 2005. No be me talk am o o.

ogbuus@yahoo.com

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