Monday 25 May 2009

TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE
Wande (Char) Coal

HIP-hop act and Dbanj’s sideman, Wande Caol, is dark. In fact, dark is an understatement, Wande, the sweet-voiced hip-hopist is a thick fog in terms of colour. He caused near total darkness at Eko Hotel last week when he, alongside Dbanj and other Mo Hits stars, walked in. T4T was forced to tell the young man that the name Coal suits him just fine. For your information, if Wande decides to join the police force in Nigeria later in life, we may have to plead with the Inspector General to excuse him from putting on the normal black uniform, because if he does, nobody will be able to see Wande in the dark, unless when he smiles. But then, no be people say black is beautiful? Wande my broda, if dem no like you like dat, use bleach make dem rest. A word is enough for the wise.

Dadi Monso Again
JUST like Don Jazzy Again slogan, Dadi Monso, Nollywood actor, was at it again. Pray, why is it that anytime Monso is down with malaria, is when he comes around to O’jez with his ‘bag’ of medication. Caught (as if im tief) the actor at his usual corner at the celebrity hangout, unpacking his macabre looking malaria drugs, with rapt attention. The first sign of ‘all is not well’ showed when somebody offered Monso his usual bottle of beer and he declined. Dadi Monso declining a bottle of beer? It must be serious. Then the unpacking of drugs... Advice: Dadi, you sure say na fiva dey do you so? Those kain many melecine you dey unpack dat day so, dem no be like fiva melecine (as if T4T na Doctor). Anyway, go do small check up make we no wetin dey. Na dia I talk reach first.

Monalisa Chinda’s Self Star-Struck
T4Twas sitting a table away from Nollywood star actress, Monalisa Chinda, at O’jez last week Monday. Chinda was deeply engrossed (so I thought initially) in a meeting with producers Zik Zulu Okafor and Francis Onwochei, until the eagle eyes of T4T caught her staring at the big screen directly in front of her with her ‘corner corner’ eye. What must have created a divided attention for our dear star on Hi Nolly? Then her full face appeared on the screen as she played out a role. The nickel dropped. So, Mona is admiring herself abi. We don catch am. So, we watched more closely. Throughout the meeting, her eyes (and I believe her mind was on the screen), so Zik Zulu and Francis, if una tink say Monalisa hear and undastand all wetin una talk dat nite, na lie una dey lie, I swear. Na only watch we watch o o o.

Zik Zulu, Francis Onwochei At It Again
I HAVE told everybody that cares to listen that Nollywood producers, Zik Zulu Okafor and Francis Onwochei, are the proverbial Mary and its little lamb, anywhere you saw Francis, look closely, Zik is some metres away. But the crux of today’s issue is to find out the kind of meeting the duo held with Monalisa at O’jez (that took hours at O’jez). They were so serious, though that cannot be said for Monalisa anyway, that T4T seated not too far, was getting worried. Na only meeting be dis? Highest na film dem wan shoot. Broses, una too serious dat nite, haba!

Kokolettes ‘Mob’ D’banj At UNILAG
KOKOLETTES (girls) were all over hip hop superstar, D’banj, last week when he went to University of Lagos (UNILAG FM) to promote the oncoming reality show tagged Koko Mansion that he is anchoring. So, to avoid the expected mobbing, his appearance was not publicised. But as soon as people started hearing his voice on air, all the pretty kokolettes waited near his state-of-the-art Escalade. He practically ran into the car as different feminine hands tugged at his designer suit. His detractors however said, he deserved what he got. “No be im wan do Koko Mansion wey girls go yapa inside? So, why im dey run wen the kokolettes don begin chase am? As you make your bed...” (fill in the blank spaces)

ogbuus@yahoo.com

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