TEETH 4 TEETH

Justin Akpovi-Esade

Ochendu Now A Restaurant Owner?
PERHAPS, tired of going out to spend money on booze and food, Nollywood fringe actor and reggae singer, Ochendo, may have decided to open his own roadside restaurant in Aguda, Surulere area of Lagos. T4T saw a bare bodied Ochendo in front of a shack that serves as a restaurant recently. He was looking disheveled, like one who had been cooking. In short, he was rubbing his eyes like one who had been in a smoke-filled place — a kitchen, no doubt. The question now is, has Ochendo opened a restaurant? If he has, what kind of restaurant is that, that is like a falling house in Shanty Town? Well, we will find out soon. There was no time to actually come down from the moving car and ask the slim (some say haggard) artiste for confirmation (wen person give you lift for moto, you no get say), but it is just a matter of time. However, recall the last time we saw Ochendo near a barbecue spot (not far from his new ‘restaurant’), it caused a remix of his popular song, Ochendo On The Mic to Ochendo At The Barbecue Spot o o. Well, the new song will no doubt be, Ochendo At The Restaurant o o.

Asiegbu Vs K.O.K: The Titanic Battle Rages
THE ongoing battle for the soul of the Actors Guild of Nigeria (AGN) between two Nollywood stars, president of AGN, Ejike Asiegbu and ‘President’ Kanayo O. Kanayo, has continued to interest many watchers of the industry. While the ‘Board of Trustee’ members, Ifeanyi Dike, Emma Ogugua, are all backing ‘president’ K.O.K, the law court and police are saying the status quo should be maintained and Asiegbu should continue as president pending a legitimate removal. Who is the president of Actors Guild of Nigeria? The answer was got in Abuja last week when the Minister of Information and National Orientation, Prof. Dora Akunyili held a function. Busy bodies revealed that the two AGN presidents were there live but when it came for ‘Mama Dora’ to call on the president of AGN, she went straight to Ejike and invited him on stage to make a speech on behalf of Nollywood. K.O.K, the busybody said, was pale white. Im come vex, waka comot from the place. Hmmm, bros, dis una fight don dey affet many tins. For instance, K.O.K, a source said, no longer hangs out at the VIP section of O’jez (where Ejike has a permanent table), he prefers the open-air dark section. Now, so many people hardly see him. Na so life be, dis two na tite frends befor o o, see wetin power don do na.

Number Plate K.O.K
NOLLYWOOD star and ‘president’ of the Actors Guild of Nigeria has finally arrived. T4T was driving behind an SUV with the bold number that read K.O.K. I did not need a ‘sayer’ to tell me it was the same K.O.K, the AMAA award winning star and recently, the ‘new president’ of Actors Guild of Nigeria. The four-wheeler pulled into the wide stadium gate and further confirmation of the occupant of the vehicle was got. Well, the puzzle now is, when did bros buy this jeep? Was it shortly after his appointment as ‘president’ by the ‘Board of Trustees’ members? Anyway, that jeep truly befits the status of AGN ‘president’. Keep it up bros and congrats.

AY The Americana
IF you are not following the television reality show tagged Koko Mansion on HiTV at the moment, then you have missed a lot, especially last Tuesday when ace comedian AY visited the remaining 10 girls in the D’banj’s mansion. At first, I did not believe it was AY I was watching as he gave the ladies words of encouragement. I thought it was one African-American chap. AY, the Delta State University graduate; AY, the guy born and raised in Pidgin English-infested Warri, Delta State, now speaks ‘fonetic’ English like an American. Una helep me see how life dey be? Na AY my broda don turn like dis so. Money good o o o.

What Was Frank Dallas Doing At Midnight?
I am at loss on how to explain where and when I saw Nollywood star, Frank Dallas recently. T4T was driving his tuke tuke along Adekunle Kuye Street, Aguda, Lagos, at about midnight recently and who did he run into, trying to reverse his car in the middle of the narrow road? Frank Dallas!!! How did I know in the dark? The window at the driver’s side of the car is shattered (recall the robbery attack he suffered the last time). But then as one drove past, the unmistakable face of Dallas filled the view. T4T hailed him and he was shocked… the guilty are always afraid. There was another person on the passenger seat. Well, I can’t say if na man or na woman o o, anyhow sha, wetin Dallas with peson (weda man or woman) dey waka waka find for near midnite? But wait o o, the peson hair plenty like woman own sha... but men sef don dey carry plenty hair nowadays na. Anyway, I give up on that. Please don’t ask me what I was looking for at that time too, na work I dey do.

Help, Solid AC Has Started Again!
YOU may be wondering what comedian Solid AC has started. Recall the last time, T4T raised an alarm how the chap was going from table to table at O’jez thumbing cigarettes from people and even daring them to complain. A particular friend of the comedian now hides his pack of cigarettes anytime he sets eyes on Solid AC. Shuuuoooooo.

Still On Solid AC... Now A Waiter
PEOPLE have complained many times about the comedian’s dressence. Because he rides a power bike (O’jez photographer, Say What, says the bike is an ordinary okada, not a power bike), he usually wears thick black leather jackets and matching gloves (no helmet, if one may add). There was this occasion, he had a performance at Ikeja Country Club and he had to dress in a white shirt, black trousers and bow tie. That was his undoing because his dressing actually clashed with the male waiters’ uniform at the club. He got the shock of his life when somebody sitting with his girlfriend signaled him over. AC thought the guy was a fan who wanted an autograph, he was dead wrong. The fella needed a drink!

See What Traffic Has Done To Mudi
Super designer, Mudi, was sighted trying to take a seat at the dark open air section of a popular hangout in Surulere last Tuesday. His first give-away was his branded bus, then trained eyes searched the large crowd and there he was. Bros, next time you wan siddon for darkness, no bring moto wey dem write Mudi put. Na signboard be dat. Anyway, for sitting where the boys will not see you to collect their entitlements (as if Mudi dey owe the so called boys), the designer that clothes stars like John Fashanu, Okey Bakassi, Gordons etc, paid dearly for it in shacks and pepper soup. Mudi has the choking traffic in Lagos lately to blame for his coming to the hangout that evening to kill time. Anyway, I no dey among the boys o o, na look I look o o.
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