TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE
M I The Tallest
RAP music sensation, M I, is a very tall young man. In fact, he is in the league of tall artistes such as Nollywood actress, Grace Amah, and Hollywood star, Danny De Vito. M I is so tall that he is just some few feet taller than the popular ‘kid’ actors Aki and Paw Paw. T4T saw the artiste, who is currently making waves in Victoria Island area of Lagos walking to his Honda Accord (End of Discussion) car and the thought that crossed my mind is: can this fella drive this car, being a very tall person? I waited to see the drama play itself out (dis T4T get time sha). M I entered the car and attempted to reverse, geez, you needed to see how he craned his neck so that he could see his back. He deserved some pity and an award to compensate him. To be ‘tall’ no easy sha.

Agatha Amata’s Has ‘Arroved’
TALKSHOW queen, Agatha Amata, has arrived and in local parlance ‘arroved’. Saw the Inside Out T V show creator in Victoria Island, Lagos, with a metallic black Murano SUV. Things are really looking up for the queen. She is so fresh and her black complexion will make an eja aro (black ‘point and kill’ fish) go green with envy. The last time T4T saw Aunty Agatha, she was driving one small Rav 4. It seems things have looked up since the last meeting, if not how would you explain a Murano? Let’s join hands in wishing her well and also asking weda small crumb fit fall down near our table make we drag am chop?

Big Fredo’s Daughter Got Married
ABOUT two weeks ago, Nollywood actor, Big Fred, was at O’jez, not to have a drink but to share invitation cards of her daughter’s wedding ceremony. Fred was so engrossed in the sharing that he failed to notice T4T sitting in his usual corner. When he was confronted for ignoring T4T, Fredo bluffed his way out of the situation, saying that T4T by virtue of the state he is from, is his younger brother. I agree, Big Fredo, but when an elder brother decides to commercialise his daughter’s wedding, as some of your detractors claim you did, one cannot just watch without saying anything. Fredo invited the whole world to the wedding, which held in Surulere area of Lagos, and his detractors said his dance steps increased when he began to see Nollywood stars and other dignitaries arriving the venue. He smelled money, according to the detractor, who revealed the secret.

... Still On Big Fredo
THE Nollywood star is a living testimony of a failed country. Please do not get me wrong, it is not Fredo’s fault that Nigeria has failed as a nation. A visit to Big Fredo’s house recently in Surulere revealed that he has three power generators. There is the small one (I better pass my neighbour) he uses in the morning, the medium size he uses from 12 noon and the big one he uses to oppress his neighbours from 7pm till dawn. So, ‘in Big Fredo’s house, there is no power failure’. No wonder I saw him fighting and shoving some time ago to buy fuel at a service station with jerry cans. Trust T4T, he accused him of being a living testimony to a failed state. Sadly, Fredo agrees. You could see sadness in his eyes. Over to you President Yar’Adua, save Fredo and others from imminent noise pollution.
ogbuus@yahoo.com