Saturday 19 September 2009

TEETH 4 TEETH

Big Boy, Bovi
DO you still remember Bovi Ugboma? Yes, the comedian, who is popularly known as Akpos? Fine, in case you still do not remember whom Akpos or Bovi is, then this will help. There is this comedian who gradually rose in the industry through his role in a TV comedy series and later branched into stand-up comedy. If you have been reading this column, T4T told you how God answered his prayers and he ‘uprooted’ a brand new Geely car (he abhors Tokunbo cars, a source revealed) about a year ago. Good, Bovi a source revealed, has further stepped up; he now lives in Lekki area of Lagos, the millionaire playground just like Beverly Hills in America. When the news hit T4T, he called the comedian’s number to confirm the information, but was told by someone who claims to be his Personal Assistant (see how life be, Bovi sef don get P A) that he was unavailable. We will confirm the news soon, but the import of this piece is to show the world how levels can change at any time. This is the same Bovi about a year ago, who was struggling with no permanent home or abode; now, he has ‘hammered’ and he is now the next door neighbour of bigger boys such as Julius Agwu, Basket Mouth and Ali Baba. How did this happen? We will keep you posted, but everyone just prays it is true. To God be the glory!


A Y @ Finicky

WHY do I keep running into these stars in Surulere area of Lagos? Na dem dey find me or me dey find dem? We will leave the answer to this question for another day, but the main issue now is, comedian AY was spotted at Finicky Fast Food, Kilo Bus Stop, Surulere, Lagos some days ago as T4T drove his tuke tuke car past that zone. One quickly pulled over to see if there would be a slip (as if AY wan fall). The black Infiniti SUV with customised plate number A Y parked quietly in the lot, had its front passenger door open. The person that came down was Mrs. A Y. Wia is A Y na? T4T waited patiently in his beat down car. You can’t see the inside of the car, all the glasses are tinted, smart A Y. Minutes later, Mrs. AY came back heavily laden with three branded paper sack of Finicky, she climbed in and the SUV zoomed off. Great!!! The lesson to learn from this short story is this. AY is not a gentleman, even when he saw that Mrs. AY was almost bent double from the load she was carrying, he did not deem it fit to come down and assist madam! AY needs a two-month crash course at Grace Oforiokuma’s Finishing School, to learn etiquette and how to treat a lady Course Code 101. Verdict: AY needs to be flogged!

Help, Elenu’s bloating!

COMEDIAN Elenu, T4T told you some time ago was putting on weight so fast, his family members and friends were getting worried. At the moment, they have more cause to be worried as the ace comedian is near bloating stage. T4T saw him in a car in traffic recently and he was aghast. The fella sitting in front and breathing with difficulty turned out to be Elenu, his designer shirt was all strung tight to give room for his tummy, which is chasing a Japanese’s sumo wrestler for size. I warned the last time that Elenu would soon be into sit-down comedy (no longer stand-up) because his size may not allow him to stand. Well, I am warning again because as talented as the young man is, if im allow plenty belly and yansh to block im waka (some detractors claim he now waddles instead of walking), naim know. A word is enough ... (fill in the blank spaces), na so JAMB dey set their question o o.


Seyi Law’s M L

THINGS are certainly looking up for all AY’s sidemen. Recall I told you how one of his alter egos, Emeka Smith, nearly smoked me to death in traffic recently with his Mercedes Benz 190? Yes, then how Elenu (also one of A Y’s boys) is showing signs of wealth through his size? Good, another of A Y’s front men, talented comic Seyi Law is having the fun of his life. T4T saw him cruising in a sleek Mercedes Benz ML. There was a lady by his side. Na lady I talk o, weda naim im sister or friend, na you no o o. Life is sweet, this was Seyi Law that A Y saw operating a telephone call centre popularly called Business Centre not long ago and thought he was a gifted comedian. Na so life be, Seyi, enjoy, you work hard for am, but remember your left o o, na the warning wey dem say Thunder Balogun wife warn am be dat o o. If you are conversant with that myth, you will know what happened immediately after the legendary footballer failed to heed his wife’s warning and took the shot.


Segun Arinze’s shiny shiny shirt

NOLLYWOOD star, Segun Arinze, arrived at O’jez last week Sunday spotting a glittering long sleeve shirt. Was it a satin material used in making that shirt? I doubt because that shirt sure looks like one worn by traders in the popular Idumota Market. Uncle Sege, what went wrong? You are known with designer shirts and all, so what happened that night? Anyway, if I hear you say that shirt dat nite na designers, I will call in Niger Delta militants to resolve the issue.


Ashionye’s Free At Last

HIP-hop female act, Ashionye, T4T told you recently got married to her Oyinbo boyfriend and record label owner. Yes, you were also told how the Oyinbo man was dancing zig zag to Nigerian music at the traditional wedding held at Ashionye’s family house in Itire, Surulere-Lagos Good, that is not the issue. The crux of the matter is that now that Ashionye is married, she is free from water wahala. Before you start getting the whole thing wrong, Ashionye does not need to fold her trousers and swim across a mini ocean to get to her house any time it rains again. She will be ensconced in her husband’s luxury home by now. No be me go tell you say Ashionye street (before she got married) off the popular Irapada Street, Itire, na small River Benue wen rain fall o o. Make una no put me for trouble. Anyway, Ashionye is free at last any way you look at it.
ogbuus@yahoo.com

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