TEETH 4 TEETH

BY JUSTIN AKPOVI-ESADE

Smith, Elenu and Shakara’s large appetite
WAVE making young comedians, MC Shakara, Emeka Smith and Elenu all walked into O’jez last week Thursday at about 7pm and immediately one knew there was going to be an incident. As they set eyes on T4T, Elenu and Smith made to run out through the glass doors. The guilty are afraid, according to James Hadley Chase! That even made T4T watch closely their activities. The trio had a brief meeting with a top show promoter all huddled together talking in low tones (guess, they didn’t want anybody to hear the performance fee). Then the feasting began. Hot plates of Chinese rice in wooden plates began making their way to the comedians’ table. In quick succession, the hissing sound of the spicy rice arrived their table. You needed to see the eyes of the young comics who are all comedian AY’s protégés. They attacked the food with the ferocity of a Lion and when the drinks started coming nko? It was the same story. I now know why Elenu is putting on so much weight that his designer trousers and shirt are crying for emancipation like the Niger Deltans. Keep it up my brothers, there was a time in the recent past when to see mony transport come O’jez na Iraq war, but see na, dem don dey run bill of over 10 grand a nite. God is good!


Bovi’s a father now
TALENTED comedian, Bovi, is now a father. T4T got an SMS last week announcing ‘mama na boy’ from Bovi. What the comedian has not told anyone is when and where the party is holding. Trust a Niger Deltan, he has craftily edited that part from the SMS. Anyway, congrats, but know that you can only run, you can’t hide, you follow people drink dia drink, people mus to follow you drink ya own. Na so life dey take sweet. Do me I do you... God... sorry, man no dey vex.

Seyi Law’s mansion in Ikorodu
COMEDIAN, Seyi Law, has joined other artistes in the new craze to own houses in Ikorodu suburb of Lagos. T4T’s investigation revealed that Law moved to join his master AY after he paid a visit to AY’s expansive mansion. The former phone booth (popularly called ‘Business Centre’) operator, who was discovered by AY some couple of years ago, now lives in a mansion. He drives a Mercedes Benz ML SUV. Life dey beta pass like dat? Please Seyi, remeba ya senior broda (that is me) as you don hamma so. To God be the glory!

Ernest Asuzu’s a married man
FORMER Nollywood hip actor, Ernest Asuzu, is married. This piece of news came from the horse’s mouth. He walked into O’jez last week and announced to T4T why he had been off the radar for over two months. “I went to get married,” he said proudly. Hmmm, dat kain marriage wey dem use almost two months do so... oh, I understand now. Ernesto may have gone the real traditional Biblical path of staying and working in the farm of the father-in-law for that two months before he is deemed worthy of being given a wife. Yes, it may be true o. Anyway, saw the actor cum rap act on Sunday at the celebrity hangout spotting a big gold chain, the type worn by American rap stars. He was holding a walking stick. I guess this is the new outfit of a married Ernest. I am happy for him o.

Charles Novia’s still highly spiritual
MOVIE/music producer, Charles Novia, left his Lekki millionaire playground to visit small people’s area on Sunday. He was sitting close to T4T at the celebrity hangout. Then something crossed my mind that I had not tested the ‘spirituality’ of Novia in a long while. I will explain. The producer was so close to Majek Fashek, the reggae icon that is believed to be heading for self-destruct with his alcoholic habit and Majek’s will never stop saying everything is ‘spiritual’ including his rumoured alcohol habit. So, Novia picked the bug. It thus became a habit to test his ‘spirituality’, which was what one did on Sunday. And expectedly, Novia replied: “Yes, it is a spiritual thing you know.” Bros, remeba your left, na so Majek shout spiritual befor tins com really be spiritual. A word is... fill in the blank spaces.

Segun Arinze makes peace with T4T
YOU may have read how new president of the Actors Guild of Nigeria, Segun Arinze, walked through T4T last week as if he was an opened door. Well, he apologised on Sunday when he ran into T4T at the same O’jez. He said his eyes were not seeing well that evening. Apologies accepted but dis one wey you no dey see road after just two months as president, make u no go blind after two years. Ask Ejike Asiegbu how hot the seat is and make up your mind.
ogbuus@yahoo.com